All the Cozy Things #4

I’ve been making stuff for close to 30 years now.  I’ve always used words and quotes in the things I’ve made.  A lot of them never grow old, but I’m always looking for new ones.

While I’m working, I usually have the TV on.  I go in spurts:  I’ll watch every episode of The Golden Girls, ‘cuz those ladies were FUNNY!   Then I’ll watch all of Law and Order:  SVU.  Lately, I’ve been binge-watching the renovation shows on HGTV—the normal “anywhere” ones, the lake ones, and the beach ones.

Those shows have made me think I could do some renovation in my own house, and I came up with a lot of new phrases.  Surely I’m not the only one that has had these thoughts, or actually said them out loud and frightened a few husbands!

“I bet that wall isn’t structural.  I’ll grab the sledge hammer!”

“I think a cathedral ceiling would look great in here!  I’ll get started!”

“I’m sure I can do that myself.  No, I’ve never done it before.”

“Rip out the old, put in the new—sounds easy enough!”

“Do we need a permit to build a lake in the backyard?”

“I want it all, I want it now, and I want it turquoise!”

While I’m on the subject of HGTV, I do worry about the people who buy condos or a house in a subdivision with HOAs.  Did they factor in the cost of those HOAs in their budget?  And when people do the awesome vaulted ceilings, are they thinking how much that could add to their heating bill in the winter?   And why doesn’t anybody use turquoise for anything?????  Y’all don’t need to answer that!

Hmmmm.  Since HGTV appears to be stressing me out, I’m thinking perhaps it’s time I switch back to the Golden Girls.  They’d give me a whole different list of words I could use!  Yes, a lot of good stuff!  Oh wait, it’s probably all copyrighted, and therefore illegal, and I’d end up in prison.

I’d definitely get new words and phrases there!  And maybe they’d let me open my own little Tickled Turquoise shop in my cell!  Picture it, prison, 2021.  I could make signs:  Cell Sweet Cell.  And cards:  Welcome to the Gang.  And I could have classes:  How to Make a Pretty Shiv.

Good grief, how did I go from looking for words to add to my collection to opening up a shop in prison?  “They” do say that TV rots our brains.  Guess I just proved it.

I’ve come to the conclusion that some of the best words and phrases are those that have meaning within our families or groups of friends.  THAT’S what this sign is.  When my girls were little, these were the names they called each other when they were mad.  My oldest daughter’s term of un-endearment was “shicken (chicken) beast”; my middle daughter’s term was “dummy wat (rat)”; and my youngest daughter’s was “puppy ip ip (lipstick)”.  I think they all are extremely creative and hilarious!

And what better way to bring the past into the present than made visible on a sign?  I’ve got lots more signs I could make with my own familial words!  Tell me some of your friend and family words and phrases!

I can make a sign for you, too.  Pick the size, the colors, tell me the words, and I’ll do the rest!

Now, I’m flipping to Law and Order:  SVU.  HGTV is apparently far too stressful for me, and I’ll end up in prison watching Golden Girls!  I’m not going to delve too far into what it says about me that SVU seems to be the safest bet!

Oh, also, I’m not really doing any of that stuff in my house.  Except maybe the lake in the backyard.  Well, a pond, there’s only room for a pond.  Okay, it would be a puddle.  A very small puddle.  No permit needed.


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